Establishing your personal addictive patterns and accessory behaviors (based on your destructive behaviors) will give you great clarity about how to set your bottom lines.
And it’s clarity that will help you develop singleness of mind and purpose. If you are committed to change and are consistently taking the action to gain a clear understanding of yourself and your addiction, nothing will prevent you from setting and keeping your bottom lines.
Blurred lines and Bottom Lines
As addicts, we thought we had control of everything. But instead of remaining in command, we tried to define our lives using blurred lines.
Most of the time we did not know the difference between fantasy and reality. We got so used to fantasy that – after a while – it all seemed real. Fantasy became our reality. The lines were blurred… and we became quite insane!
But the lines between real and unreal must be clearly defined if we ever hope to live in the real world and regain our sanity.
Bottom line behaviors are “self-defined activities from which we refrain in order to experience physical, mental, emotional, sexual and spiritual wholeness.”
Bottom lines are based on your patterns of addictive and accessory behaviors. They should be clear – without any ambiguity – so that you know if and when you cross them.
Engaging in any of these behaviors is considered a slip or a relapse. (A slip is when you catch yourself in one of your bottom line behaviors and you immediately stop and tell your sponsor about it; a relapse is when you cross the line continually and lie about.)
Once you have set your bottom lines (with the help of your sponsor and your Higher Power) refrain from these behaviors one day at a time.