I burn up a lot of energy trying to fix my day. From the moment I get into my car and head for work to the time I arrive home from the office, I’m burning up energy.
Most of the time I’m not aware of it. I’ve gotten so used to it – trying to improve my life and its circumstances – that I don’t realize what I’m doing.
We all do it. We don’t like what’s going on, and try to fix it. We don’t like the way the way the car ahead of us is moving. People at work shouldn’t be so inconsiderate. Why is that client so annoying?
I’m not talking about the bitching and the complaining that many of us do; that’s just a symptom of the real problem. What’s really going on?
It’s called resistance. We resist what is.
“He shouldn’t be so arrogant!” “Why can’t she be more pleasant?” “I can’t believe what just happened.” We carry on this inner dialogue with ourselves all day long.
Sometimes I try to ‘fix’ other people by giving them advice on how to behave! And, when they won’t listen to my ‘expert’ opinion I really crank it up a notch. That’s when my inner dialogue goes into overdrive.
Sometimes I get home from work, and I’m exhausted! I’ve burned up almost all my energy because I’ve spent the day resisting… everything.
Resisting is what got us into our addiction in the first place. ‘Acting out’ is a form of resistance. Shutting down – checking out – escaping reality – it was all about resisting how we felt.
If you are in recovery, you are learning to accept life on life’s terms.