If I’ve had a particularly good day – everything happened as it should, and I feel great – I catch myself saying, “Wouldn’t it be wonderful if every day could be like this one?”
But I know my wish isn’t based on reality. Tomorrow isn’t going to be exactly like today, just as today doesn’t match yesterday. Everything is changing, even when we don’t notice.
When I was a kid, a friend of the family who hadn’t seen me for a long time would come to visit. “My how you’ve grown!” she would say. And I would think to myself, “Oh really? I hadn’t noticed.” Others are aware of changes even if we aren’t.
My mother had seven kids to raise. Occasionally, things were chaotic, and she got really stressed out. It was on those particularly hectic, crazy days I could almost here my mother say, “Stop the world – I want to get off!” (Occasionally, she did – but that’s another story for another time.)
Chaos and change is part of our experience as human beings. Scientists say it’s how we evolved: As our existence as a species became more complex and unmanageable, we adapted. (Need was always the mother of invention.) As we encountered each impasse, we used our creativity to develop a solution and got organized. The problems that arise from our growing complexity as a species continually cry out for more answers.
It’s how you manage the changes in your life that determines how much chaos you experience. If you don’t adapt, chaos will continue to increase. Resisting change will not help. Arguing with ‘what is’ – your present circumstances – will only serve to increase your own personal suffering. And suffering that is allowed to increase will lead you back to your addiction.
Accepting ‘what is’ is realizing that change is the only constant.