When you hear the word ‘Love’ what do you think of? Valentines Day? Romance novels? Sex? Actually, there are four Greek words for the word love:
- Eros – romantic love
- Storge – affection
- Phileo – friendship
- Agape – unconditional love
The Holy Scripture says that God is Love. God cannot be anything less than pure Love. And God’s will for me is to walk in Love. God’s will is that I become like God… that I become Love!
The Holy Scripture also says that there is no fear in love. In other words… fear is the absence of Love. When you are full of fear, you are empty of Love… of God.
You won’t find the word “love” in the 12 steps (except for the term ‘sex and love’ addict). But just because you can’t find the word doesn’t mean it’s not there. (You won’t find the word ‘forgiveness’ either, but it’s there… in between the lines.)
The path of recovery leads us to God (Higher Power). We ask that God remove our defects – our resentments, our hurts, and our fears. These defects of character – our shortcomings – are a result of our own selfish desires and lusts.
Our self-will-run-riot leads us into the worst kind of dysfunction. And it all comes from fear: False Evidence Appearing Real. We dream up all kinds of false beliefs that hold us back and prevent us from loving others the way God loves the world.
Our addiction can rob us of romantic love, affection for our own families, friendship with others, and the love of our creator – the One who loves us unconditionally. Remove God (Love) from the picture and all that is left is fear… fear of others, fear of poverty, fear of death, etc.
But we are promised in the Big Book that these things will leave us. All our paranoia becomes a thing of the past.
In recovery, we conform more and more to God’s will. And in so doing, we become ‘Love’ and let go of fear.