“I’m not hurting anyone, am I?”
These are words I used to rationalize my behavior whenever my conscience protested. It was my secret. No one else needed to know about it.
If I was abusing anyone, it was myself. But I felt great – especially when I was acting out! Whenever I felt lonely, or mad, or bored… I had my addiction to turn to help me through.
It wasn’t until much later on (like about thirty years later) that I knew what this addiction was doing to me. And what it was doing to my family!
My addiction robbed me of being present to each moment. And it robbed my family – my wife and kids – of who I was truly. They didn’t know who I was because they’d never seen it before.
The addiction had done such a great job of covering over my bad feelings that I couldn’t feel the good ones either. I was just numb. I really couldn’t feel much of anything.
What’s the big deal?
The big deal is this: When you spend your time ‘protecting’ yourself from feeling anything, you isolate yourself from everyone – even yourself. And when you can’t feel, you can’t really live.
You were put here to express yourself, and to offer to others all that God has given you. If you don’t get into recovery you will rob the world of who you are, and all that you have to offer to others.
And when you rob others of who you are, you ultimately rob yourself of life as it was meant to be lived.
A lot is at stake for you and your loved ones. Addiction is a big deal!